Random One-Liners

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Reviews/Criticism

The longer ahead you plan a special event, and the more special it is, the more likely it is to go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

I don’t chew my cabbage twice!

Miscellaneous

To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Charges Filed in Fla. Electrocution

Headlines

Facts are stubborn things.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Facts

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Problems Work

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Murphy’s Laws People

He makes you feel more danced against than with.


Dance Entertainment

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

American professional tennis player
Body Sports

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Food/Drink

Witch Doctor

Miscellaneous

I'm all in favor of it.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

What on Earth was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it.

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Callous: Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

Characteristics Definitions

Authors with a mortgage never get writer’s block.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

Elvis Sighted in Wax Museum

Headlines

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Eating Food/Drink

That man is a real charmer, a regular Don Coyote.

Malaprops People

That is all

Epitaphs